Elaine, the bling bling lady.

I met Elaine last Saturday when we had the opportunity to spend some time with our host families. Mai, my roommate, and I were both assigned to Elaine.

I don’t even know where to begin with Elaine. She is so out of this world that she almost seems fictional, like some fascinating new character you’d suddenly bump into while reading your favorite novel. She’s so unique that I know some readers might find it hard to believe she’s real, but she is—trust me. Very much real, very peculiarly quirky, and immensely kind.

Elaine is a 72-year-old retired woman from Northern California. She lived in Sacramento for a while but recently moved back to Chico for economic reasons. Now, Elaine is retired, but she keeps busy. She has a lot of hobbies and a whole belief system that’s both singular and endearing:

1. Elaine believes in conspiracy theories about extraterrestrials that will reveal themselves in the year 2025. These extraterrestrials are somehow connected to Jesus Christ, God… and Donald Trump.

2. She’s a big Trump supporter. Elaine is so happy Trump is in charge now and believes he will make sure to end the corruption in the country she dearly loves. Donald Trump is connected to the extraterrestrial beings, Elaine explains. That’s why it was so critical for him to win the elections.

3. Elaine has a 47-year-old son who’s married without children, by choice. I’m not too sure what he does for a living, but according to Elaine, he lives in an upscale part of Sacramento. What we did learn about Elaine’s son is that he makes AI-generated videos of AI-generated music. He entered a competition and can win up to 70 grand.

4. Elaine lives in a container home with her roommate, Sue Ann, who is also retired and loves Trump even more than Elaine does, if that’s even possible. Sue Ann is something else as well—she’s full of energy. I liked her a LOT. The container house is located in a container home lot where only retired people live. Elaine has a lot of friends/neighbors there, some of whom I had the chance to meet. All of these 70-year-olds were awesome.

5. Elaine is very into board games. She often goes to a place called Elks Lodge, where a bunch of seniors hang out and play different games. She wanted to take Mai and me there, but there was no time in the end.

6. Elaine is a bling-bling lady. She loves her bling-bling. She’s a bead artist. She makes beautiful bead artworks that she uses to decorate everything—herself, her house, her car. I admire her talent. She has a great eye, I think, and she handmade a bunch of different presents for Mai and me using this technique. It was very personal and very thoughtful of her.

7. I’ll reveal this at the end because it’s too good to spoil here.

So, my first impression of Elaine was that she’s a fancy lady. A VERY FANCY LADY. Dressed in high-heeled boots, her makeup charmingly done, her puffy bouffant flawlessly smooth, with a carefully placed beaded headpiece that perfectly lined up with her bangs. I could tell right away that she took great care of her appearance and that first impressions really mattered to her, something she and I have in common.

We said our hellos, had some highly friendly small talk, and made our way to her car. First stop: street market. She’s into shopping and was super excited to share the experience with us. She’s big on free samples and wanted to try EVERYTHING. Mai and I were a little shy at the beginning, but we quickly warmed up to the dynamic. We bought chocolate and fresh vegetables. We met two market sellers at a strawberry stand, selling delicious baskets of the fruit. I was going to buy some, but me being the social bug I am, I started chatting with them, and the conversation flowed. They ended up giving us the baskets for free. Such an amazing experience.

Second stop: Burgers and Brews. Lunch in downtown. Pretty good burgers but huge. We only ate half each and took the rest to go. Then we went to an ice cream shop just around the corner that was pretty great. I cannot have any dairy, though, so I tried sorbet for the first time—it was surprisingly creamy. At the ice cream place, Elaine bought mood rings for herself, Mai, and me. We had some fun comparing our moods and checking out the little mood charts.

Third stop: Thrift shop. Elaine showed us around, and she was proud to be with us. Being with people from other countries made her feel more interesting, for sure, and she mentioned it at every single possible interaction. At the thrift store, we met another lady, a nurse who worked with schizophrenic patients. She was kind of eccentric herself. I quizzed her about Uruguay, and she didn’t even know it existed, lol. Elaine bought me a 5-dollar dress that fit me like a glove. I wore it to the welcoming ceremony on Wednesday—it’s really pretty and makes me feel like a movie star or something.

Fourth stop: The cherry on top—Elaine’s house. Now, Elaine had mentioned she lived in a container home and suggested she was poor. So I was expecting the worst. If this is how poor people have it in the US, I don’t know why they complain. I let Elaine know my thoughts. She took them gracefully. I learned pretty quickly that Elaine, despite her old age and the fact that she is a conspiracy-theory-believer and right-winged, is fairly open-minded and simply not afraid of criticism or meeting challenging new perspectives. I could tell Elaine I agreed with some of what she said since I consider myself center-moderate, but I thought she was also very very wrong about many things. She never once made any hostile comments or had any kind of hurtful rebuttal. We were able to have fruitful conversations that were both polite and enlightening.

At the house, she gave us a short tour of her lovely decorated home and invited us to sit on the couch so she could give us some gift bags. The bags contained different items (a notebook, a coin pouch, a little mirror, and a card with a message from Elaine) that were bedazzled with shiny beads, carefully arranged in matching color patterns. I absolutely loved this gift. As I said earlier, it showed dedication, thoughtfulness, and skill.

We were just about to leave for the Elks to meet up with Mark, Elaine’s friend (or so we thought), to play some Mexican Train, a particularly interesting game of dominos. Then in comes Sue Ann (Elaine’s roommate), David, and Laurie (both residents of the container home lot). They had all gone to a Republican women for Trump rally and were all a little tipsy, especially Laurie. Conversations and introductions quickly started to flow. These people were magnetically engaging, unusually friendly, and so, so, so much fun. They had the same attitude as Elaine about hot topics. I could easily disagree with them and not feel threatened.

After a while, David and Laurie left, and Mai was asleep. Sue Ann went to her side of the house to watch TV or something, and so there was only Mark, Elaine, and myself. Remember, by this point, I still believed Mark and Elaine were just friends. Then Mark, with a straight face, explained that he and Elaine were in a romantic relationship… But Elaine was also involved with another man, who lives by the coast, in Mendocino. His name is Ed.

Elaine, the bling-bling lady, my 72-year-old retired friend, bead artist, board game lover, who believes in conspiracy theories, loves Donald Trump, and is “poor” by her standards, HAS TWO BOYFRIENDS.

Fifth and final stop: Rice Bowl. Me, Elaine, Mai, Mark and Sue Ann all had dinner at this very nice Asian restaurant that offered both Chinese and Japanese options. I tried Chow mein, edumame, rice soup and fried prawns for the first time, as well as a sushi roll called the Miami roll that made me roll my eyes inside my head. It was so so good, a food orgasm Sue Ann said, lol. 

Elaine was a pleasant surprise, but NOTHING could have prepared me for the whole Elaine package, especially the two boyfriends at 72 whole part of the equation. 

At this point, I’m just sitting there, staring at Elaine in absolute awe. This woman has left me with a valuable life lesson: Live exactly how you want, with no shame, no fear, an open heart and mind - and a little bit of bling-bling.

Oh, and btw, I beat both Mark and Elaine at Mexican dominoes.